Desert Song

This is a Hillsong song I heard while at the ReCreate women's conference at our church the other weekend. Even though I have heard this song a couple dozen times, this particular time it touched my heart. Especially the bridge that I have in bold below. While worshipping the Holy Spirit spoke to me and reminded me that regardless of what I am walking through at this very moment in EVERY season there is ALWAYS a reason to worship/praise/give thanks to the living God. To be honest these last two weeks have been rough, and that's probably an understatement. I have cried, been angry, stressed, & broken. But I remind myself that God never promised a perfect life without problems. He knows how we feel & what we go through because He walked this earth but did it without sin. Our pastor has spoken recently on struggles and how the valleys are where character is built. And one of my favor statements he said.....God is not worried about your comfort his focus is on your character..... He didn't create earth for us to live this perfect/comfy life. Yes, he created wonderful things for us to enjoy but what was more important than our enjoyment was to build up the body of Christ to be more like Jesus. "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love." Psalm 145:8 (I sure know I can work on these areas from time to time.... A LOT!!!) Most of the time the character traits that Jesus talks about in the bible are developed during trials. I want to learn how to suffer well...... where my circumstances & challenges don't hinder me from exuding the joy & love of Christ that lives inside of me. I want the people that I see day to day that don't know my hardships to NOT see sadness but see JOY..... not because I have it all together or not hurting but because...." He who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

My faith & hope are put in Him and I am confident in "Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory...." Ephesians 3:20-21

The power that raised Christ from the dead is the same power that lives inside each of us. How can that thought not be empowering..... His power that lives in us makes us CONQUERORS!!!! I am NOT trying to act/write like I have it all together, I am walking all this out day by day and at times second by second but I know that I am never alone. Worshipping Him in song and His word is honestly what keeps me sane & brings me peace. 

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be STILL." Exodus 14:14  Be STILL, that one word brings such peace & strength, it's like God is whispering to me.... "just sit back/rest/be still I got this"

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways
 and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

Thank you Jesus!!

Why God doesn't tell us everything:

“The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions." Deuteronomy 29:29

I am sure we have all thought at one time WHY God has not informed us of all the details that lie before us...... I have realized that we couldn't handle it!!! The scripture in Deuteronomy reminds us that their are secrets only known by God but following that we are told that we are accountable for ALL that HE has revealed to us. God gave us a manual, the BIBLE, to equip us with every circumstance of life.

Jesus walked this earth and experienced all the hardships, hurts, joys, etc that this earth brings..... But He did it ALL without sin or fault. He knows the hurts we endure & the bible comforts us with this "...Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Even though God hasn't let us "in the know" of all the trials, joys, stumbles, & praises that we will face in the future.... He has given us the greatest gift to look forward to....that at the end of our time here on earth He has prepared a place for those who know & love Him and it is for ALL of eternity. What a glorious truth!!! I praise God for giving us the HOPE of forever with Him & praise Him for his word to get us through all the unknowns.

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

2 Corinthians 12:9

Celebrate the Journey...

As Josh and I walk through life I have determined over the last few weeks to celebrate our journey together..... In God's word he teaches us "to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12. This scripture urges us to take account of how rapid life here on earth passes by & with that we may gain wisdom to live life appropriately..... Not to live for our time here on this earth but for eternity. Live our numbered days on earth loving & serving the Lord that our actions here make an eternal difference. Wow, what a different mind set we all would have if we reminded ourselves of this scripture daily.

We just recently celebrated 1 year of marriage, how fast those 12 months past by. What a wonderful year it was joining together as husband and wife & navigating through this crazy world together. You see, as wonderful as our first year of marriage was, we also had trials & obstacles. There have been tears, frustration, worry, anger, but at the heart of it all we have HOPE & LOVE. Life doesn't always go as you planned.... which reminds me of why in the world I tried to plan it in the first place. He is in control. "All the days you ORDAINED for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16. 

I have realized through my adult years of one misperception I feel we all have asked ourselves & God at some point. "Why do bad things happen to good people??" But who is defining what is good and what is bad....?? You see some people (myself at one point in my life) view God as this judgmental tyrant that punishes you with "bad circumstances" to pay for your sin..... REALLY?? If this was/is the case then why did Jesus have to die on the cross?? He was bruised, beaten, mocked, & nailed to the cross for our sins..... HE PAID the price once and for all. There is no condemnation in Christ.

Even during the days when Jesus walked the earth people assumed that suffering was linked to something you did wrong.  "As Jesus went on His way, He saw a man who had been born blind. His followers asked Him, "Teacher, whose sin made this man to be born blind? Was it the sin of this man or the sin of his parents?" Jesus answered, "The sin of this man or the sin of his parents DID NOT make him to be born blind. He was born blind so the work of God would would be seen in him." John 9:1-3. This is faulty theology, we all fall short daily to the glory of God because we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. But we can find FREEDOM in Jesus and through our sufferings grow spiritually closer to Him. 

As you build a personal relationship with God and fall more in love with Him it doesn't mean you will skip through life without any problems. But with a foundation built on Christ you can begin to find JOY in the midst of heartache. Every step of life, happy or sad, God has ordained it to shape & mold us into the children of God we were created to be! "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, NOT LACKING IN ANYTHING." James 1:2-4. Not in our own flesh are we able to dig deep and find joy in the middle of life's terrible heartaches, it is with His love and our faith that we can HOPE in the days ahead. 

Life has thrown us a gutting wrenching punch in the stomach.... nothing I ever expected would "happen to us" but through much prayer & trust I CHOOSE JOY! Doesn't mean I don't have moments where other emotions come alive full force but I trust in the days God has ordained for our life. And with that I have peace that I am NOT in control..... I never really was in the first place!!! I am eternally grateful to have a man who loves God to walk through this beside me. I choose to be full of joy & celebrate our journey together. 

Our 1 year Anniversary!!!

Happy ONE year anniversary (4/9/12) to the man who has filled my life with joy, laughter, happiness & love!!! It is hard for me to even begin to remember what life was like without you in it. God has far surpassed my desires and dreams for a husband & I would wait another 29 years just for YOU!!! Thank you for being my rock this past year. You are the most wonderful man I know!

To celebrate our anniversary Josh and I spent the week in Rosemary Beach. We had a blast and the weather was absolutely perfect. I think Rosemary is our new favorite beach location..... It was a relaxing week together & I am so grateful that we were able to get away and just enjoy time the two of us..... I will post pictures soon!!!

A Busy Month!

It is hard to believe that March has come and gone and now it is April 1st..... April fool's day! March was a month of many birthday celebrations..... but one important birthday was that Josh turned the big 3-0!!! We are finally the same age again. I am 9 months older then him so these three months of being the "same age" are great because he can no longer gloat that he is still in his twenties!!! Welcome to the thirties sweetie.... I am confident that it will be the most wonderful decade that we get to share together!!! What a blessing!

"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." Romans 12:12

I feel that these last few weeks the Lord is teaching me that during our trials we need to stand firm and confident in our faith and hope in HIM. He is the provider of our every need and has a awesome plan for each of our lives..... I need to learn to trust is His timing. Even when it's not going as "planned" or "envisioned"..... God isn't worried about our comfort He is wanting to build our character throughout our life here on earth. Because the more we are transformed to the likeness of Christ we can be the light for those who are lost and need His truth.

I need to remind myself of this DAILY! He is more than enough!

What a difference a YEAR makes

It is hard to believe that Josh and I will be celebrating our 1 YEAR anniversary on April 9th.... Time surely flies when your having fun & sharing life with the one you love!

This time last year I was having challenges with my health & "forced" out of full-time work. It definitely was an emotional time of change & confusion. But looking back a year later I am amazed what the Lord has done. He is capable to do far more than I could ever ask or imagine..... He turned what seemed to be such a "bad circumstance" at the time around for the BETTER and His best for me! What a HUGE difference a year makes.....I am so humbled and thankful for all my many blessings & to be in good health!

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28

The Lord tells us in His word that "in this world you will have trouble..." John 16:33, it is not a matter of "IF" we will have trials or tribulations it is a matter of "WHEN". The verse above finishes by stating BUT take heart I have OVERCOME the world. There is nothing in this world that Jesus has not experienced and conquered.

Your hope in difficult times should come from knowing that you have a loving & merciful God who will provide you with all the strength you need to climb over that mountain.... ALL you have to do is ASK.

".... you do not have because you do not ask God." James 4:2

God knows the desires, frustrations, emotions of our hearts but He wants us to draw close to Him and be in relationship with Him.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt..." James 1:2-6

A New Year!

Well 2012 kicked off with a bang..... New year's day evening Josh came down with the stomach virus and was very ill. He was the 6th person in my family to get this bug over the holidays, so we braced ourselves and prayed I wouldn't get sick too. Thankfully, I was spared for this horrible bug but Josh was pitiful. Between the 2 of us I tend to be the one who is "sick" or having medical procedures so to see him so sick and so pitiful was hard. He kept asking if he was going to die..... I reassured him over and over that he would survive! And thanks to my superb nursing skills :) & lots of lysol, gatorade, crackers, and soup he made it through!

I started back work today..... first day in about 3 weeks. My back did pretty good overall. Little bit uncomfortable at times but I can take uncomfortable over debilitating pain ANY day!!! Continue to pray for great days & complete healing!

Thankful & Blessed

"The sun of righteousness will dawn on those who honor my name, healing radiating from its wings. You will be bursting with energy..." Malachi 4:2

So very thankful for my wonderful husband and mom who took great care of me today!! Unfortunately, today I had to get yet another block. This is block #4 of the year & # 13 or 14 total over the last 5 years. I had to get four injections in my back, I am a little sire but resting comfortably at home! Josh and my mom said today in the car on the way to the hospital that this WILL be my last block EVER, they proclaimed it for me. We continue to pray for complete healing from this chronic/debilitating pain. God has already paid it ALL on the cross, now I'm just walking through the healing process clinging to His promises.

I love the song: "Jesus paid it ALL"

Part of the chorus- " Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe; sin had left a crimson stain He washed it white as snow!" AMEN. When I hear these sweet words I am so thankful to have a loving God that was willing to die for ALL our sins on the cross..... Just as I picture the crimson stain (sin) being washed away to white snow (new life/no condemnation), I also visualize my pain washing away and having a new physical body with NO pain!

"But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love," Psalm 33:18

I am blessed to have such supportive & loving family and friends..... y'all have definitely seen me at my worse and loved me right through it! And for that I am forever grateful and humble by your friendship!!

I am definitely a little sad to see 2011 come to an end, what an amazing year it has been!!! I married the most wonderful man and have fallen more in love with him over the last 8 months. Through the rough days of my back pain he just looks me in the eyes and says you have me and I will walk through all of this with you! Words cannot describe how grateful I am to have this man in my life who exhibits unconditional love, even when I may not be very "lovable."

Very hopeful and full of faith that 2012 will be a awesome year & a new year with no pain.

I pray many blessings for the New year for each of you, much love!

2011 - A year in pictures!!!

January: Phoenix, Arizona

BCS National Championship game

War Eagle!!!! My husband looks so handsome :)

February: Tuscaloosa, Alabama

My mom, mother in law, and I..... I don't have many pictures from February. It was a rough month for me, if you look closely I have my back brace on in this picture:( This picture was from my bridal tea hosted by my mom's wonderful friends

March: Elba, Al

Josh and I with our parents at the Lawford Cabin! This weekend we were showers with much love and gifts at the basket shower

April: Birmingham, Al

April 9, 2011 we got MARRIED!!!

Ceremony- Canterbury United Methodist Church

Reception- Old Overton Club

Most joyous day of our lives!!!!!

May: Orange Beach, Al

Memorial Day weekend 2011- Donnie Canaan's house

June: Chattanooga, Tn

I turned the BIG 30!!!A wonderful and relaxing weekend with my husband

July: Panama City, Fl

Thanks Uncle Donald for letting us stay at your house!! It was a rainy beach weekend with the Allen and Andrea Maness

August: Asheville, NC

I won this trip at the Junior League silent auction. We had a blast and got to visit the Biltmore Mansion & stayed at the beautiful Grove Park Inn

September: Auburn, Al

My mom turned the BIG 60!!! We surprised her at the tailgate with some of her close friends from Tuscaloosa.... the look on her face was priceless!

October: Auburn, Al

Another fun weekend at the plains tailgating with friends and family!

November: Atlanta, Ga

My sister and I took my mom to go see Mamma Mia at the Fox Theater as a late birthday celebration.

December: Parent's house

Our first Christmas as The Lawford's! Such a wonderful holiday spent with those that mean the most to us! We are very blessed!

This time last year....

This time last year...... I was picking up my wedding dress!!!!

It's hard to believe that 2011 is almost over with. This entire year has definitely been a memorable one and one of the best yet!!! This time last year my wedding dress was in and I went to go try it on and take care of alterations!!! Hard to believe Josh and I have now been married for 8.5 months. Time flies when your having fun..... And those who know Josh know that he definitely puts a smile on people's faces :) I am truly blessed!

Proverbs 4:20-22

"Dear friend, listen well to my words; tune your ears to my voice.

Keep my message in plain view at all times. Concentrate! Learn it by heart! Those who discover these words live, really live; body and soul, they're bursting with health." Proverbs 4:20-22 (MSG)

Many of you know that I have struggled with chromic back pain since March 2006..... Almost 6 years! There have been some good "years" during this time but this year my back has been a challenge to say the least. I realized that somewhere in these 6 years I feel that I had lost hope of ever being pain free FOREVER. Yes, I have great days of no pain but to me it wasn't good enough.... I no longer wanted to have tears of pain, excruciating pain. But this year my heart and spirit have been enlighten. By having any loss of hope means that I am NOT trusting in God's word.

I have been dwelling on His truths and it has softened my heart and renewed my Spirit with HOPE and JOY!

"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations— that's what I had in mind for you." Jeremiah 1:5 (MSG)

How great is it that before we were even born God knew us and had a holy plan for us. The living God loves us so much that as we were forming inside the womb he was planning out our life so that we may prosper as we cling to His truths.

"I am the Door. Anyone who goes in through Me will be saved from the punishment of sin, and goes in and out and finds pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" John 10:9-10

His desire is for us to know Him and have a real and everlasting relationship with Him. As we walk through the door and accept His love, mercy, & grace we are forever free from the punishment of sin & find rest and freedom. But in this world there is a kingdom of darkness that tries to blind us from these truths & only mission is to STEAL the joy and freedom that comes from knowing Jesus. Do not be fooled by the enemy because the truth of God's words states..... "I came that they (YOU) may have life, and have it abundantly", some versions say to the FULLEST! How amazing is it that we have a loving God who loved us SO much that he came to earth and died a gruesome death for us ALL so we may have ABUNDANT life free from the burden and shame of sin! He paid it on the cross!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)

It is TRUE that God does want us to have a full and abundant life but His word also warns us that in the fallen world we WILL have troubles. Everyone's challenges and troubles may be different..... Finances, health, family, employment, relationships, etc. but is all of these circumstances God's word tells us to find peace in knowing Him and knowing that He has overcome the WORLD.

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?...... No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love." Romans 8:35, 37-38

His word claims that DESPITE any troubles or trials that we are more than CONQUERS through Christ who loves us. The power of God's love and the truth is His word gives us with the ability to conquer the things of this world. It is not by our own abilities but the Spirit of God inside of us.

So referring back to the first verse I posted/ the "title" of this post: Proverbs 4:20-22

In order to be able to conquer your trials you must CLING to his word. This comes with knowing him, having personal relationship with Him, and falling in Love with Him! His word is not only the truth for your life it is the MEDICINE for your body/soul.

I have been enlightened by this truth:

I cannot just say "I believe in healing" without taking the medicine which is the word of God. I have studied some truths on healing and one description I found was the paralleling of God' medicine and natural medicine. I loved this example because since I am in the medical field and give medicines to patients daily, it was an easy but profound illustration for me to GRASP!

3 parallels:

1. Both are healing agents (God's word and natural meds)- Just as taking an antibiotic can heal you from your infection, God's word has the same capacity, energy, and ability to heal your body.

2. Just as natural medicines has directions (ex. take 1 tablet two times a day for one week) so does God' word.... Proverbs 4:20-22 states in another version let them penetrate deep within your heart. (Living Bible)

You must study, hear, listen, mutter the word of God until it penetrates to your spirit.... Not just every now and then or at your convenience. Power is ministered first through your spirit then to your body. So dwelling on his truths & memorizing His word so that they are written on your heart will first bring healing to your soul which empowers healing to your BODY!

3. This one was the most PROFOUND to me: Give the medicine TIME to work. Many people give natural medicine a lot of time to work. They are patient for the full effects of these medicines even getting refill after refill. But when it comes to God's word we just take one dose and expect a miracle. Keep taking God's medicine, give it time to work, recite scripture daily & believe the truth and power behind those words. His words are ALIVE and TRUE!!!

"As for God, His way is perfect. The Word of the Lord is proven true. He is a covering to all who go to Him to be safe." 2 Samuel 22:31

Back to the beginning: I have been restored with Hope and Joy through His truths. And I choose daily to trust in God's word. Do I still have pain, yes. But I will not let this temporary suffering steal my Joy in Him and in the life he has blessed me with..... because by loosing that joy I have given the enemy what he wants (to steal & destroy the life God has set before me). It doesn't mean each day is easy by any means but I am learning daily that in my trials I have found myself trusting Him & His word more, and in that I have peace. In His word and through His death on the cross He has proclaimed that I am healed.

"But He was hurt for our wrong-doing. He was crushed for our sins. He was punished so we would have peace. He was beaten so we would be healed." Isaiah 53:5

As I meditate on His word and allow it to dwell deep upon my heart I feel as if I am walking out my path to healing. Because power comes first from the spirit and then distributed to the body. I went through a period where my spirit was weakened by my chronic pain.... I allowed my sufferings to loose sight of the life- giving truth behind God's word. That His word does declare healing for my body in His perfect timing.

"Those who trust their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe." Proverbs 28:26

To Have and To Hold....

Well it's official, Josh & I are MARRIED!!!! It has been a wonderful 2 weeks and we are back from St. Lucia settling into life. It has been fun to have Josh around and not leave at night! Today is his first full day back at work and I genuinely miss him.... it's just been the two of us for the last 10 days and now we are back to reality. Work, laundry, groceries, etc. We have been blown away at the generosity from everyone as we were overwhelmed by the gifts when we arrived home. Thank you to all for your love, support, and kindness. We fell extremely blessed...... To have Josh as my husband is more than enough but to also have such wonderful people in life to share this time with is so special! I am looking forward to the days ahead and just enjoying day to day life with Josh. Life is good.... our GOD is GREAT!

Blessed!

Its hard to believe that Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and I realize that at times I fail to embrace how abundantly blessed I am. In todays society its easy to get trapped into the thoughts of all that is wrong but actually we have SO much that is right and good.....I can give thanks & all the glory to God, our ultimate provider. And in just a few months I get one of the greatest blessings of my life: to marry the most wonderful man and my best friend. And through our marriage I also receive great "in-laws" and a new family.....What a blessing!!! I also have a wonderful family myself which I am thankful live so close. I love each of you very much! I pray that we can all accept our blessings from God and in return be an even greater blessing to others! I hope each of you have a Blessed November!

Happy Fall!!!

New Job

So today I started my new job at Shelby Baptist Hospital. This "set hours" job is truly an answer to prayer. I have been wanting and needing better hours for my health and I feel extremely blessed to finally have a set shift!

Well, today was good but definitely an adjustment. I went from knowing everyone and knowing where everything was located to being completely lost. I know its part of it but its definitely NOT a fun feeling. But I could not of asked for a warmer welcome!

When I got to my house and it was 3:08 pm I was in awe of all the time I had during the afternoon. I actually took at 2.5 hour nap because I definitely did not sleep good last night in anticipation of my first day!

Other than my new job we are just busy with wedding plans and I am also "de-cluttering" my house to make room for Josh come April! Less than 6 months before the big day!!! I hope everyone is having a great fall so far! Many Blessing :)

"For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.

The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love."

Psalm 33:4-5

End of summer!

It has been a world wind of a summer.... but it has been the most wonderful 3 months! From family beach trips, to Amsterdam and Africa, and now engaged and planning a wedding God has truly blessed me with a wonderful man to share all of these special days of my life with. We have started planning our wedding with full force (with the help of our moms! Dads too :) ) ..... We are getting married April 9, 2011 here in Birmingham, Al!!! A little over 7 months away :) The ceremony will be at Canterbury United Methodist Church and reception will be at Old Overton Country Club! We could not be more excited. We are finishing up summer with a short trip to Destin before our busy schedules start for the fall! Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Few more pictures to share!

Josh down on one knee!!!

My beautiful ring..... He did such a great job!

Josh and I celebrating at dinner last night at Chuck's Fish in Birmingham!

Oh Happy Day, I am ENGAGED!!!

I think I am still in disbelief of what all happened yesterday..... BUT I'm getting MARRIED!!! Not only am I engaged and getting married...... but I am getting to spend all the days of my life with the most wonderful guy. God is so GOOD and His plans truly prevail in his timing. Josh and I can see His hands all over us meeting and our relationship. I did not think on Saturday when I woke up that all this would of happened. BOY was I surprised!!!

Stacey and I had made plans to eat lunch together and get some yogurt once we woke up. And I actually slept in until 10a.m. (I don't think I have done that since college!) Woke up and got ready and Stacey offered to pick me up. We ate at Diplomat Deli in Vestavia. Well Josh was supposively working but said he wanted to get yogurt with us later. So I sent him a text while we were finishing up lunch, but no response. O'well we will go shopping. So I asked Stacey if she would want to go to TJ Maxx with me because I had a gift card. She said sure but can we go up here in Vestavia and take a few pictures of a place I use to go a lot (she was borrowing a friends nice camera so she said she wanted to take pictures while she still had this camera). Of course, I say okay whatever I have no set plans today. So we drive up onto Shades Crest Road up to Vestavia Baptist Church. Well behind the church is a huge cross that you can see from downtown as you look up the mountain. There is also a platform area (kinda looks like a balcony) with park benches. Backing up a minute, on the way up there I was telling Stacey that this week I knew of 4 people or so that had gotten engaged and it had made me think more about it but I knew Josh and I wouldn't get engaged for a little while longer. Also as we drove up I kept saying how pretty this area would be for a wedding except the church was a little dated......still no clue what was about to happen. NO clue at all! As we walk up to the platform area that overlooks the city I see flowers on a park bench and AGAIN NO clue. I was like"Oh, Stacey look at the flowers someone's boyfriend is trying to surprise his girlfriend we should maybe go so we don't ruin it." Stacey brushed if off (very well!) and was like no one is here it will only take a few minutes for me to get the pictures and I said okay. As we walked closer to the bench I saw a note and the name Claire...... Kinda had a blonde moment because even then my first thought was "Oh, that girls name is Claire too!" Really NO clue, my first real clue was went i skimmed down the note and saw "Love Always, Joshua Wayne" I walked away from the bench with my hands in my face and started to cry a lot (kinda like the ugly cry)! I turn around and there is Josh walking around from the other side of the church building!!! WOW, I was speechless all I could do was cry. He walks up to me, he's crying, I am crying, cant see Stacey but Im sure she is crying! And he gives me a small white bible with my new name Claire Lawford (sweet to read but kinda strange to say at first because Ive been a Bazemore for 29 years! But it fits :) So Josh cried through his words and read a verse from Colossians 3:12-14

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Josh told me he chose this verse because the virtues listed are things that reminded him of me!! (Not sure I am always so patient thats for sure but I do try!) And of course to me vs14 is so fitting because when you are bound together with the love of Christ and the love for each other you begin to create perfect unity! He got on one knee and asked ME TO MARRY HIM!!!! Oh such sweet words coming from the sweetest, most loving guy I know! And of course I said yes and we hugged and kissed!!! And during this whole time I forgot Stacey was there (sorry friend, I was a little taken back!) so we have pictures of the whole thing!!! Anyone that knows me knows how much I LOVE having pictures.....I think it helps me remember all the little moments that my memory sometimes forgets. We sat down and Josh started to tell me how the whole process began, from asking my parents for my hand (that was a complete tear jerker!), looking at rings (thanks to Lauren and Beth who first went with me and Beth and Jeff for going with Josh without me having a clue!), and all the other things that lead to this wonderful day!!! I praise and thank the Lord for giving me Josh and cannot wait to share our lives together!

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:4-6

I have been meaning to blog all week:

On Sunday July 11. 2010 a horrific tragedy hit Kampala, Uganda, the place Josh had just spent 8 days with our friends. There were 2 terrorist bomb attack. (And afterward they have found that there were more than 2 bombs but the others were not detonated. The bomb at the other restaurant was a suicide bomb.) Our friends were 5-10 feet away from the explosion, and ALL praise and glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ that each of them survived and are safely now back home in the USA..... sweet home Alabama to be exact. They not only survived but each walked away with no serious injuries, WOW! How Great is our God! Last Sunday afternoon Josh and I spent the afternoon after church at my house watching the World Cup Final. After spending a week in Africa we had really gotten into soccer..... well at least the World Cup:) Little did we know as we were sitting comfortably on my couch watching the game our friends were experiencing their worst nightmare. It wasn't until that evening that we found out all that had happened....and Josh and I were shocked, it all seemed surreal. We had just left Kampala and felt so safe during our stay, how could this be?? We so badly wanted to ensure our friends were okay. After spending 8 days in Uganda we now had our American friends and our friends in Uganda..... Oh and not to mention the kids! Once we knew that each of them had survived we felt a little better but still wanted to understand why?? Why had this happened? Why Kampala? Why that specific restaurant? Its unfathomable for me to try and wrap my brain around these selfish acts of terror. The attack has been linked to Al Qaeda and affiliated with Somalia and the targets were foreigners, yes foreigners. We were all foreigners over there, but why attack Mzungu from Alabama?? Once our friends made it away from the attacks they stayed on lock down until their flights departed. What they have witnessed, encountered, and survived I know is difficult to comprehend and process but I have full faith that the Lord will use this to bring glory to His kingdom. He has a special calling on my friends life and I am blessed to call them my friends. Last night some of us got together to eat dinner with Carrie since she was back and it was great to hug her neck!! I hope to see the boys soon! We have heard from our friends in Uganda and sadly some of there families and friends lost their lives in the bombing attacks. Please pray for them, the orphans, the people's families who lost loved ones, the country of Uganda and its future. The enemy will not prevail in this attack because our God is Greater and He is good ALL of the time even during horrific circumstances and when things don't make sense.

"No despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loves us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, NOTHING in ALL creation will EVER be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39